"If you divorce me, you will not get married again," my husband cried out to me before leaving. He told me to hit, but he knew that it could be true. And so I did. The divorce is especially shameful among the Sikh community for women. I was ashamed of myself. I felt dirty and used. When I knew that he regarded me as a product used, how would I look at someone else? Other people strengthen this feeling.
My grandmother in London told me that I should have done my job, even though she knew what I was doing. My father's family in India said, I was disappointed that I was home; I was disrespectful to them. My parents supported me 100%, but I felt that I dropped them down. I rarely left for five years, but in 2013 I started seeing again for the partner.
Read News: I'm divorced, so Sikhs do not want me - Minreet Kaur
When I asked people to find my suitable person for them, they would often be happy to help. They will start asking questions - how old I was, where I used to be, where I used to work - but as soon as I was told that I was divorced, the expression of their words changed. It was a look, "We can not help you". "I'll tell you," they told me.
My marriage has been half-arranged. People told me that I'm pressing for an old man, so I asked to introduce someone to the Southall temple.
After my divorce, when I started searching for a new husband, I went to the House Hall to register for his wedding book. I knew that the temple would introduce only my own members, even though the nation is not important to me. But what I do not know is that, because I was divorced, they introduced me to the divorced men.
Volunteer once told me about my details about my admission form: "Here are two men who are divorced - they are only suitable for you."
But at least in two temples I introduced divorced men with women who never married. Why can not the divorced women be introduced to men, who were not married before? It seems that men are not responsible for divorce, only women.
I asked the person responsible for the marriage of House Temple to explain to Mr Grewal to me, and he told me that it was not his choice - the men were looking for a bride and their parents, who said they did not want a divorce.
"They are not going to take divorce, because if we follow the faith then it can not happen in the Sikh community."
